Why it is nice to meet strangers:

How many times have this happened with you?

You are in a conversation with a member of your family or a friend and they start telling you one of their experiences....

When someone uses this word :”Stranger”, a kind of negative image surfaces in the mind of the listener. There is a pre-conceived notion that strangers are bad, thug, psychopath, serial killer, stalker, cons and what not! We thus forget the fact that even we are stranger for lot of people in this world. They are just like us, a small entity in this big universe.

My today’s discussion would be about meeting strangers and why I like doing that.

As I have said that I identify myself as an introvert, it is usually hard for me to break the ice and start a conversation with a stranger. But I always like doing it. I have this theory... that when you meet someone who has zero knowledge about your past, you are like this fresh page in a notebook. Completely blank! You get a chance to portray yourself like you want to do. No fear, no inhibition! You can use any colour you want to paint yourself with.

Now when I told this idea to one of my friend, she replied by saying,” Oh you mean disguising as someone else “. This is quite a valid argument. You can also deceive the person sitting in front of you or even you can be conned by the stranger, but let us look into the brighter perspective of this idea.

Suppose you were a shy, bullied or lonely person in your previous place, like school, college or even a new job! So now you have this whole new opportunity to completely revamp your life and lead it completely different from the previous one you were having. Isn’t that great though? No extra baggage from the past and you get to start afresh! And who helps you live this life? The very same strangers! In this whole roller coaster ride, we meet some strangers who later become our life partner, friend or BFFS! Thus it is always nice to meet strangers.

While I write this article, I am pondering over the fact what adventure waits for me in this completely new city. But for now let me begin the chapter of Pune 1.0.

So while I got teary eyed while leaving Gandhinagar, I am trying to embrace Pune with the same zeal I embraced the former city! Let’s see happens next!

The “new year-new me” faux pas:

Happy new year everyone!

Here’s wishing you all one more of year health, happiness and success!  Was that a boring wish? Okay.....Let me try again! Here’s wishing you one more year of booze, orgasm and free food coupons!  

You may think that why am I wishing on 3^rd of Jan? ... Well, I wanted the euphoria of the new year to be settled down and wanted you all back in the normal phase....( I mean the phase which you were in last week  :P )

Every New Year we want some changes around us, because apparently just the change of calendar doesn’t suffice our necessity! So we get highly motivated and pledge to ourselves that the coming year is going to drastically different for us. We not only pledge to ourselves but make our desires public! And that is the worst mistake which we tend to commit. Yup, you get it, I am talking about the “new year-new me” blunder.

We have hopes and we have dreams.

Someone want six packs (of abs, not beer), someone wants to be 10 pointer in college and someone want to update their blog daily (  L ). It’s good to have dreams and aspirations but embedding that dreams with the New Year’s resolution, is the worst thing that you could possibly do. Let me be a little straight forward here.... Most resolutions last maximum till one month. Then we all return to our same old practises. There can be tons of reason for that! But most of the time we quit! But having a resolution and then quitting it, is not that a bad thing, But declaring your resolutions like national news headlines to everyone, is a bad practise to do.

It is because we are surrounded with people who would like to make fun of your failure than support you in fulfilling your dreams. Very few people would be there in your life who will keep on motivating you! So my dear readers, please don’t unveil your plans for the coming year to everyone easily.

                                                                 image source

OH! And one more thing... if you fail to follow the resolution that you had made.. Then please don’t wait till the next year to follow it. Just have strong determination, and then collect all the broken pieces and start once again! What’s the worst that could happen? You will fail? No issues... you can try again and again!  Please don’t give up...

So, from this time, make sure to tell yourself “new me or better me”, but just do that every day instead of every New Year!

Have a great year ahead J ! 

It is year-end already?!

And I am actually asking this question ... where did the year 2k15 go away? Its like years have stolen shoes from Usain Bolt and are in race with each other to see who finishes first!

Okay that maybe an exaggerated analogy... but my today’s topic is going to revolve around the year end.

I still remember the day when I jotted down the last blog entry for the year 2014. It was about New Year and nostalgia. But I am not feeling nostalgic this time. In fact, I am having a hard time in digesting the fact that year 2015 is about to end. Year end is always special for me, as I look forward for some sort of new start, every year! And this fact is eating me up.

I don’t have that special excitement in me anymore. But is the reason behind my dullness is that  I don’t have anything to look forward the coming year? Wrong! Next year is going to be really crucial as I am going to move to a new city.

So, does that mean year-end has no significance for me anymore?

Maybe! Well, to be honest, it is just the change of date and calendar. The first two months will simply pass wishing each other “happy new year” (even though we don’t mean it) and then the monotony will continue. Of course, we all are going to commit the mistake like this  “20156“ or the artistic one are going to overwrite the 5 with 6. Oh and how can I forgot the habit of checking out number of holidays we will be getting this year (btw 2016 has many long weekends). And please don’t get me started over resolution.

That is it! Nothing else! Then why do we all go gaga over new years? Is it because of holidays? New Year’s party? Hope of getting lucky when the clock struck 12 during new year’s night?(yup, I am a rom-com fan).

I guess I am slowly entering the mundane adult life, where there is no much hope left and even New Year means just the change of calendar! But then, while writing this whiny post, I have decided that I am not going to lose to my lethargic and complaining nature! I have to revamp myself and thus be more optimistic. Somehow I got my lost passion back, just with this little introspection.

New Year  remains charming as ever!

Dear Santa!

Dear Santa,

Here is the list of things I really want for Christmas!

·        Good health for my near and dear one (including myself!).

·        Inner peace for everyone who needs it.

·        Every person in this world should get the gift of expressing empathy.

·        Less interaction with gadget and more with people!

·        Eradication of hunger.

·        End of various wars.

·        Smile over everyone’s face!

So here’s my list...I know you would be thinking that I am being “Mr. Horribly Good”. But let me tell you one thing, I could have easily jotted down few things like a Ferrari or I-phone and what not. Obviously those things would have been materialistic. First of all, being materialistic in the world is not an issue, even I am! But never on Christmas!

For me, Christmas is all about giving to the needy and miracles! Those things which I want could be bought in near future if I really work hard and earn tons of money! But what about giving back to the humanity? If everyone would wish for the above list, I am sure Santa is going to grant them.

I would be waiting this Christmas, for Rudolf to drag that sleigh so that Santa can make my wish come true! And I really hope it will come true because it’s Christmas and miracles are always waiting to happen!

Dear readers, I wish you all a merry Christmas and happy holidays! Hope the coming year brings all the joy in the world for you!

Confession of an introvert...

Today I am going to continue my whining streak, by updating another post where I complain about my current life. If you read my last posts, you would be knowing that I have joined my first job on 16^th. The people are good and very co-operative in my workplace. Even my colleagues are really friendly and fun-loving, with no sign of arrogance or ego (yet!). After reading this, you would definitely like to ask me that why I am creating a big drama and constantly whining about this new phase of life. And my answer is, I am an introvert!

 

image source 

Okay, now if you go through the definition of this word through a dictionary, you will come across words such as keeping to themselves, quiet, shy etc. Today I would to like to present how it feels to be an introvert and how hard things are for us at times. There are many misconception about us and I want to clarify them, by giving reference to my scenario.

People often say that introverts don’t talk much or keep to themselves, because they lack communication skills. To be honest, most of them are really confident people and they don’t lack any skills to communicate. We know a lot of them as great leaders also. The thing is that, we are mostly preoccupied with our thoughts and imagination. It’s kind of our own imaginary world in which we are busy and thus we forget to interact with others!!  We have a group of 36 people in my learning group, abbreviated as L.G. So while everyone was busy interacting with each other, I could only talk the guys and girls sitting around me, as I was busy with my own world most of the times. On the second day, I was asked this expected question from L.G mates, “why are you so silent?”

Now as we are engrossed in our own thoughts, and as we are usually silent, we may come across as rude person. Not even that, you would be accused of being snobbish and arrogant and what not. And all this while, you would be thinking that how well-mannered I am as I am giving everyone their personal space!!

Don’t think that introverts are not chatty or talkative! When we get comfortable around someone then there is no way we are going to shut up!

Another thing which I have heard a lot about introverts is that, we don’t know how to have fun. And on my defence, I would like to say that the definition of fun may vary from people to people! Fun doesn’t mean you have to go to a pub, get drunk and dance wildly! Fun can also mean, shut off your cell phone, make your favourite coffee and sit with your favourite novel! Most of you may call it boring, but then again, it is my idea of fun!

Introverts are also not lonely people. They may have only a small group of friends, but they are not lonely people. We love the “alone” time though. Every day, I need some “me” time. Here I want to emphasize the difference between being alone and being lonely. I don’t know about others, but I choose to remain alone at times so that all that millions thoughts which constantly race through my mind, get some time of their own. It kind of soothes me.

The mates in my L.G are quite jovial and fun loving, and me as an introvert, is having a tough time dealing with that. It is not that I am rebuffing their warm gestures, but I am also not too comfortable with it. But this time I have decided to do what is not expected from me. I am saying yes to group dinners or group hangout. I want to come out of the shell, in which I have limited myself. Even I want to live that crazy wild life of extrovert once!

 While people always complain to have bad colleague, here I am complaining about having friendly colleague. I guess a man can never be happy!

With all this revamping going on in my personality, I can surely tell that I will never become an extrovert but I can surely qualify in being called an ambivert!

Finally,

Three cheers for introverts!

It is because of us, that you extroverts are called fun people!

Equality is here…but where is the dignity?

The supreme court of the united states(SCOTUS) gave a landmark ruling and legalized same sex marriage in all the 50 states of the united states of America. The 5-4 ruling by the judges lifted the ban of marriage from the 14 states. It is truly a huge step taken by the country thus making it the most populous country to legalize same sex marriage and the 21^st country in the world to do so.

So when I logged in to various social media…everyone were celebrating it by painting their logo /dp with rainbow, which is considered to be flag of LGBT community. Today when I was going through my  Instagram page , 9gag , a popular social media website posted a pic celebrating the equality of love.(9 gag had also changed their icon from black and white to rainbow coloured

which was pretty cool). The comment that pic got were really harsh. Religious fanatics were really condemning this decision, stupid homophobes bashing the decision and ignorant people making ridiculous comment. I am not against people expressing their views, but some comments were really harsh. Plus there are many platforms were you can get your views expressed, but I am really against stupid ranting on social media. 

But these things made me to ponder over the fact that does equality also brings dignity?

Won’t there be any hate crimes against the LGBT people? Won’t there be any bullying and discrimination. Maybe this law is the step which may also change the perspective of people…but that seems like a long road.

This judgement has some contrast with the Ireland public referendum. The people of that country voted to legalize the same sex union. So this shows the progression of the mindset of people in that country.

All this words coming from a guy whose country has the draconian law of Article 377 which bans all sort of same gender activity! But there is some hope in the transgender community. The supreme court of India recognized transgender as the “third gender” and has passed a law to save them from discrimination in jobs, education and other civil rights. Things are looking up for them as recently Dr. Manabi Bandopadhyay became first transgender person to become a principal of a women’s college in West Bengal. A first of a kind in the country. The mentality of people here is still in the olden ages and acceptance maybe yet to come in this country.

One thing is for sure though,, that we should grant all people the rights they want and allow them to live as they like. There are far more serious issues to be tackled in the world but unfortunately we are yet to resolve problem as simple as love!!!

Finally

Three cheers for equality and love!

           

What’s in a name??

So how important are our names?

Well, we all have different names, the first ones, last ones, middle ones, nick names, alter ego name and many other stupid names which we are christened with, either by our friends, colleagues or  by our enemies.

 Today I want to share my story of having a name which is both, common and also unique!!

My name is Raj Visa.

So let me talk about my first name, i.e “Raj”. Raj in hindi means “rule” or “reign”. This name even finds a space in Oxford dictionary which defines it as the time span of the British rule in India. This was the literature supposed to be known about my name…..

 But if you watch Bollywood movies, you would be sure by now that it is the most common name in India. Thanks to numerous Shahrukh Khan movies and all the other romantic flicks, the name “Raj” has become synonym with a guy who is romantic ( I mean desperately romantic or in deep love). This name has been made so popular in Hindi movies that I have actually seen some guys, who are a wannabe real life Casanova, renaming them as “raj”. It is somehow supposed to make them look “kewl” in front of girls (WTF), but I think it makes them look as desperate as hell!! Also here is my next argument….

According to me,”Raj” is the most uncommon common name. What I mean is that this name is only popular because of movies, but you would rarely come across  a guy whose name is “Raj”. You would find many people having “raj” as prefix or suffix in their first name… names such as “rajkumar” or “yashraj”. But guys with only first name as Raj are a bit rare to be found. Even in the famous sitcom “The big bang theory”, the full name of actor Kunal Nayyar is “Rajesh koothrapalli” which is shortened to “Raj”. But still I have to deal with stupid remarks made by many people, especially the ones quoting Shahrukh Khan from the movie “Rab ne bana di jodi”. Yup! You all got it, the stupid dialogue…”Raj … naam toh suna hi hoga”.!!! And I have to deal with those buffoons (sigh!!!).

Coming to the unique part of my name, that is my surname. It is “Visa”

I have been in centre of many jokes just because of my surname. I agree it’s quite unique but that doesn’t mean people should actually ask me if it is my real surname (true story). My job interview had actually started after discussing my surname for five minutes. One of my high school teacher used to call me passport (HAHA, you were supposed to laugh on that). All this have an advantage also. I don’t have to alter my name while looking for gmail account. It is also easier to find me in Facebook, Instagram and other social networking sites. But my worries don’t end here. I live in the eastern part of India. Here you would come across people from two states whose language doesn’t have ‘V’ alphabet in it. I am talking about the Bengali and Odia people. The alphabet ‘V’ is replaced with ‘B’ in both these language. The plight that I am talking about is hilariously shown in the movie “Kahaani”, in which the lead was named “Vidya” and she goes to the city of Kolkata. Funny as it may sound, her name was always misspelled as ‘Bidya’ by the sweet people of Kolkata. But that was a movie!! I had to face lots of trouble in my past when my name was wrongly misspelled as “bhisa” or “bisa”. Also no one pronounces it correctly. So there you go… I have trouble with my surname also.

I know that I am not the only guy who has faced problem with his name. It is also not that I hate my name. I proudly say that my name has been given by my father!! It is just the fact that I have to face a bit of problem but it all ends in a funny way.

So all of you out there with a unique name or a common name….. If you are ever troubled by it, then just remember Shakespeare who wrote these lines in the famous “Romeo and Juliet”….

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”, in which means that a name is an artificial and meaningless convention!!!  

Three cheers to those who are named “Raj”

And also to those who have the surname “Visa”!!!  

Of the selfies and narcissism

The world of smart phones is equipped with one common trend and that is obviously taking selfies i.e  the art of clicking one’s own pic with help of their phone.  If it’s a group pic then it’s called  ussies or groupies and so on…

While taking selfie is still a big trend, the latest toy regarding this new hobbie of people is the selfie stick, a sort of stand ,to hold up your cell phone while you take that perfect snap either pouting or rolling  out your tongue. It all seemed a fun thing to me until I read an opinion about the selfie stick that said…

“ selfie stick!! It’s more of a narcissi-stick”   

Then it hit on me… is this trend really making us a narcissist?

Narcissism could be described as the excessive fondness for oneself and being way too much loving about themselves. It is derived from the name of Narcissus , who appears in Greek mythology. He used to be a really attractive person and one day he fell in love with his own reflection in a pond. When he realized that he couldn’t be with his own reflection, he choose to drown himself and then turn into a flower, which thus gives name to the flower narcissus.

 All the selfies which we found on internet are of best features of that person. We get party selfies, gym selfies, outing selfies etc ,all the scenario in which the person is either dressed beautifully or have a ripped body or doing some extravagant things. So is this really a way to feel good about you? Yes and No.

According to me it is good to feel positive about yourself and thus staying in a better shape or dressing up well , are  one of the various ways. But the other time I feel, people simply try to copy others in the social media and thus end up doing things which turns out to be a complete disaster for them…

Some studies tell that we human perceive ourselves 10 times more attractive than our actual self. Which is isn’t that bad… but don’t you think this selfie culture is giving  more fuel  to this finding and making us all self obsessed with ourselves?

Well even if it does… is it narcissism?

No, it isn’t. Narcissistic personality disorder(NPD) is a disorder which affects 1% of the total global population. It is severe case of self pleasing one by indulging in self flattery, believing that one can perform every task in the world and above all they are in delusion of many things.

It is really harmful in many cases…

So next time you see a person clicking a selfie, don’t call him a narcissist  , instead call him self- loving. Go , grab your smart phone a click a selfie now!!!  

New year’s eve and the nostalgia!

Hi all,

Yes, I am alive. I know that I told in my last post that I will resume posting in December first week but I didn’t. Reason being that I went to a trip of western states of India. So I would be writing my whole experience of the trip next year (from tomorrow :P).

What about today? The last day of the year….

Well I have a habit of writing a diary. Every year end, I write a flashback series in my diary. In it I sum up the whole year month wise. I find this practice quite fruitful, because every month has some special importance in the whole year. It is up to us now what do we learn from that experience.

The yearend usually makes me nostalgic. All the good moments starts the slideshow in my mind. It’s not that the bad moment doesn’t show their presence… it’s just that I choose to ignore them. Also I try to let go of grudges I hold against some people because hey … as we go to new year , one more year get over from our lives.

I pretty much suck at the practice of keeping New Year resolution though. Every year I make a list, but I became a defaulter on day one itself… my resolution list looks somewhat like this…

So what’s next? Yea… new year party??

Me being an introvert usually hate those new year party… in my growing year..back in my home town, we used to have a club. Every member of the colony used to gather there and they used to call DJ and have a dance party…. And I hated that!!! But as my family members used to attend that party, so I was obliged to go with them. After all, I wanted to be with them as the clock stroke to the midnight. I am glad that I attended those parties, because I got to spend time with my family. At this time of year, I and my elder brother are at a different city and my parents are back at my hometown.

So cherish this time of the year and make sure that you have fun in the last day.

Here wishing you all a very happy new year and a year full of health, happiness and success.

Light travels faster than sound… revamped!!

Light travels faster than sound. If you remember your elementary studies correctly, you are sure to remember this natural phenomenon. The very reason , because of which we see the lightning at the sky first, and then after some time, we hear the thunder.

But I am not going to discuss science here.  Now this scientific fact applies on us, human too….

How? Well first go through this popular joke…

 image source

Well, it is an old joke. Not funny any more… but its significance? In my experience it has turned out to be true in most of the cases. Hey… I am not being mean here… but take this example

You go to a book store (yup, I am a bibliophile)… you come across a very smart, good looking girl.. And then hear her speaking highly of the worst author (according to you) ever produced in the market….... Sigh!!!

The pang you feel in your heart… ohhhh!! So brutal!!!

There are many such examples and I hope you all must have came across such situations!

But as I told you that I love reading books, I also know the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”   so, the fact can be reversed also.. That some people appear to be dumb until they open their mouth. And trust me.. I have been through many such situations.

Apparently we live in a superficial world. We all are very judgemental when it comes to the looks of people. Remember, few years back… a guy with square spectacles and a book in hand was easily termed as “nerd”. Now, wearing squared spectacles is the “geek” look and is considered “in” thing in fashion. Also I really don’t like the conventional attributes given to particular people.  A  Blonde has to be dumb/ a Sardar has to be foolish. Why???

Not only that… if you are thin, then it’s problem.. if you are fat then it’s problem.. And even if you are fit… people would complain that you don’t have six pack abs.

When are we going to let each other feel free in our own skin??

I guess , never. So how to save as all from this bullying? Simple! Just feel you are fabulous and everything will fall into right places.